Behind that Smile
by rosypinkname
Summary: Fai has a secret that he's keeping from Kurogane. Would it bring them together? Or tear them apart forever? Kurofai. oneshot. not something i would usually write. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILACSAREPURPLE!


My first KuroFai story! Wa-hooo! :D  
Sorry it took a long time. My stupid internet wasn't working and i went out of town a bit.

**HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY LILACSAREPURPLE! **

Behind that Smile

Fai stared at the test. It resulted in a pink cross. He sighed at the though of how it came to be. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back hoping the nauseating feeling would go away. It seemed as though everything was coming on so fast; everything felt like a rush. He just didn't know how to feel. Happy? Sad? Just in shock. He didn't even know how to tell Kurogane.

Suddenly, he heard a car door slam.

_Uh oh_, he thought. _It's time to face him_.

He quickly wrapped the test with paper towel and threw it away. He then walked into the living room and smiled as Kurogane walked in.

"Hello there, Kuro-rin," Fai greeted cheerfully.

"Ohio," Kurogane replied.

"How was your day today?" Fai asked him.

"It was great. I met young academics on ice! They were skating around the rink campaigning on how we should save our environment."

"That's amazing!" Fai's eyes moved from Kurogane's red eyes down to his jacket. A green button was pinned onto it. The words on the button were what caught Fai's attention the most.

"Kuro-pon, what does that say?" He asked pointing to the button.

"Oh, it just says 'Save a tree, eat a beaver.' It simply means to save the trees while in the meantime, eating beavers. Hence, the saying, 'Save a tree, eat a beaver.'"

"Ahhh," Fai began, "You know about my dietary habits! I won't have it in this house."

Kurogane sighed. "Sorry honey," he said as he took it off, "it won't happen again. So how was your day?"

Fai looked away. "Oh uh, my day was great. I was thinking…about…getting us a pet!" He exclaimed with a smile. He couldn't stand lying to him but he wasn't ready to tell anyone yet.

"A pet," Kurogane repeated with an emotionless look on his face. "What kind?"

"Oh, this is going to be fantastic!" Fai rejoiced as he danced around from the living room to the kitchen as Kurogane followed. "I was thinking that we should get a fish! Oh, oh, OH! A _goldfish_!" Fai grinned.

Kurogane shook his head. "Now, Fai, why on earth do you want a fish? Do you even know what raw fish can be?"

"Kuro-poo," Fai gasped, "fish are supposed to be friends, not food. I've always wanted one ever since I was little.

You see, when I was a boy, I finally got a fish. I was so happy that day, so I came up with the best name for a fish: Sushi. Then one day, I wanted to take Sushi out for a walk. I learned a very valuable lesson that day: If you want to take your fish out for a walk, keep it in the bowl," Fai explained with a smile on his face.

Kurogane started to blink excessively in confusion. "So, um, what happened after that?"

"Fai sighed. "After I took Sushi out of the bowl, I realized that she was dying and I wanted to save her life. So there I was, spitting on my goldfish trying to keep it alive."

"Oh, you poor child. So you still want a goldfish after _that_ happened?"

"Yes! Now I know not to do that again. After that day, people started to call dead fish you eat after Sushi! It's an outrage!"

"Which is why you don't eat sushi?" Kurogane clarified.

"Yes!"

"So what else happened today?" Kurogane asked.

Fai, not knowing what to say, gestured towards the muffins on the counter. "I made muffins! Would you like one? They're cranberry."

Kurogane, unconcerned, walked up to him looking into Fai's beautiful blue eyes, not leaving his gaze and got up close to his face so that they were inches apart. "You're hiding something from me," Kurogane began, "and I'm bound to figure it out. You can't hide it forever, Fai.

Kurogane turned and walked away, not saying a word.

Fai waited until he couldn't hear Kurogane's footsteps anymore. He breathed out a sigh of relief. "Not now, he's right. It can't be kept a secret any longer," Fai told himself as he looked down moving his hands up and down his stomach.

Kurogane, up against the other side of the wall, had been eavesdropping the whole time. "Damn!" He muttered under his breath.

**3-4 months later**

Fai still hasn't yet told Kurogane about his "condition," even though it became so obvious in many ways. First, since it has already been two months, Fai's stomach started to stick out. It became very obvious in whatever he was wearing, so he started wearing bulkier clothing. Second, he had weird cravings. He would crave sake. Lots of sake. Kurogane tried his best at hiding the sake so he wouldn't drink excessively. Thirdly, his mood swings were so intense that you couldn't determine what he wanted and how he felt. One minute he's happy and cheerful, one minute he's sad and depressed, and then the next minute he's sitting in a corner all angsty laughing like a maniac. Also, it was only now and then when he would throw up. It would be impossible for Kurogane not to notice.

Today, Kurogane wasn't home so Fai was left home alone. In about a month or so, the gender would be revealed.

_Soon,_ he thought, _he must know soon._

His thoughts were interrupted by nausea. Fai quickly hurried to the bathroom and threw up into the toilet. He threw up his emotions, thoughts, stress…and his lunch. When he was done, he flushed it all down and sprayed the room with Lysol. He sank down onto the floor. "Why me? I can barely remember what happened."

Just then, he heard a car door slam. Kurogane. Fai got up quickly and popped a few breath mints into his mouth. Kurogane walked in the front door carrying a small cage behind him. Fai walked into the kitchen to look like he was starting dinner.

"Hello Kuro-rin," Fai greeted with a smile on his face as he walked into the living room.

"Ohio, Fai-san. Remember a couple months ago when you told me that you were considering getting a goldfish?"

Fai nodded.

"I've decided that I am never getting you a goldfish after what you little dumb-headed, demented, young self did to that fish of yours!" Kurogane exclaimed.

"Well, I have to admit that I was very dumb-headed when I was younger. But I'm all better now," he said innocently.

"Right…" Kurogane rolled his eyes hoping Fai wouldn't see. "Anyway, I went to the pet store and got us a bunny!" He exclaimed as he revealed the animal in the small cage. It was a small, white, well…thing. It was no bigger than a regular bunny but round. It had a red gem on the center of its forehead and had long ears. It also looked as if it didn't have a body. In fact, it didn't even look like it was a real bunny.

Fai gasped, "Kuro-roo, you did that for me? Aww, lemme see the bunny!" He walked over and took it out of its cage. Its eyes were closed so it looked like it was asleep. "Hmm…this is an odd looking bunny. Where did you get it again?"

"I got it at the pet store. The owner said it was very unique, so I got it," he replied, "and I paid good money for that thing with no refunds."

"But what shall we name it?" Fai asked.

As he did, their faces leaned closer to it. Suddenly, its eyes opened wide and jumped forward towards their faces.

"Puuu!" The creature exclaimed.

"Kyaaaaaaa!" They both screamed as Fai jumped into Kurogane's arms. The creature shut its eyes back up.

"Kuro-wan, I thought you got us a bunny! Instead, you got us a _talking_ bunny!"

"Well I didn't know it could talk! I'm not sure if it's even a real bunny!"

"Mokona is _not_ a bunny. Mokona is Mokona!"

Kurogane and Fai just stared at it in disbelief.

"Uh, Kuro-pon, I think the bunny already has a name."

Kurogane dropped Fai on his feet. "Oh, you don't say!" Kurogane roared sarcastically.

"My name is Mokona Modoki. But I am called Mokona. What are your names?"

"My name is Fai D. Flourite. But you can call me Fai. And this is Kuro-rin," he grinned as he gestured towards Kurogane.

"It's Kurogane!" He yelled as he plopped down on the couch.

Mokona hopped on his lap. "Aww, Kergy, don't be mad! Here, hug Mokona. Hug me! Hug me!" Mokona opened her little arms.

"Hey, you pork bun, GET OFF MY LAP! And why are you talking in third person?"

Mokona cowered in terror. "Mokona thinks pork buns are scary! And so are dango!"

"You're scared of yourself?" Kurogane asked lifting one eyebrow up.

"Aww Kuro-poo, you're scaring her!" He then turned to Mokona. "You are a 'her,' right?"

"Yes!"

"Well then, this calls for a celebration! Let's bring out the sake!" Fai rejoiced. This caught Kurogane's attention. _Oh great. I'm in for a night,_ he thought.

"Yay!" Fai and Mokona danced into the kitchen to get the sake.

_The pork bun drinks? Oh, great. This will make things even __**more**__ interesting._

Fai came out with the bottles of sake and set them down on the table. Mokona hopped onto the tabletop and started hugging the bottle.

_This is a bit awkward_, Kurogane thought as he rolled his eyes.

Fai opened up the bottle as he was about to drink it. Just then, Kurogane finally remembered something. "Wait Fai," Fai paused. "Are you sure you want to drink that?"

"Of course I do! This is a celebration after all."

With that, Fai drank, and drank, and drank. Mokona drank down her own bottle. Kurogane just stood there glaring at them, preparing for what was about to happen.

**About an hour later**

"Ohhh Kuuroganee…are youu sure you dooon't want one? Meeeooww," Fai grinned.

"Meow, meow!" said Mokona.

"No thank you. I hate it when you get drunk."

"Hmm…meow…" Fai lifted up the bottle.

"Dammit. Fai, stop that!" Kurogane grabbed it away from Fai.

"No, Big Puppy! Give it to me!" Fai tried to grab it back.

_Great. Another nickname, just what I needed. _

Kurogane caught sight of Mokona trying to chug her bottle down. He ran over to her, "Hey, pork bun! Stop that right now! Damn, how much sake can you fit in your tiny self?" Kurogane and Mokona then tried to wrestle the wine bottle out of one another's hands.

Suddenly, Fai started coughing violently. Kurogane turned to see that Fai was clutching his stomach. Fai seemed to be moaning in pain. Kurogane ran over to Fai, who was now on the floor.

"Fai!"

"Kuro-wan," Fai began, "You should know….I-I'm—"

An excruciating pain erupted from his stomach. Fai cried out in pain. Then his body went limp. He was unconscious.

"Fai?" Kurogane tried to shake him awake. "Fai!"

**The next day**

Fai woke up the next morning. He woke up in a bright room in a strange bed. He found that tubes were attached to him and that he was connected to an IV. He tried to pull on out.

"Don't even think about it," said Kurogane at the dark side of the room. He was leaning against the wall.

Fai looked up. "Ohio, Kurogane," he grinned. For a second, Kurogane's face looked surprised but then changed back to being very concerned. "Where am I? What time is it?"

"You're in the hospital. It's 9 in the morning," he replied with no emotion in his voice.

"Where is Mokona?" he asked curiously.

Kurogane pointed to the sleeping Mokona in the chair in the corner.

_Wait, the __**HOSPITAL**__?_ Fai thought. _He must know by now. _

"Kurogane," he began, "I don't know how to tell you this but…I'm pregnant."

Kurogane just stood there, speechless. He showed no emotion.

"You don't seem surprised."

"That's because I'm really not. It was pretty obvious from the start. And you didn't tell me. I just confirmed it last night."

Fai frowned. "I'm sorry, Kurogane. I just didn't know how to tell you—"

"So you just kept it a secret for all these months!" He began to raise his voice. He walked over to Fai. "Do you know what drinking could do to your health? Do you know what it could do to that baby?"

"I-I haven't thought of that but—"

"No, you didn't! You weren't thinking at all! That baby's life is going to be messed up and it won't have anything to do with me. This will be your entire fault. Actually, this is **ALL** your fault that we are here right now. If you had told me sooner, I would have helped you more and would have actually become a part of that baby's life!"

"Well, if you knew all along that I was pregnant, why didn't you help me? And you are a part of this baby's life because you are the father!" Fai yelled.

"Because I knew that you had to face the consequences for not letting me be involved in that part of your life!"

Fai didn't know how to respond to that. He had to admit that it was true, what Kurogane was saying. "I'm sorry. You're right, what you said was true," he said looking down.

"Dammit, I don't even know how it happened," he said calmly. He then took out his frustrations by hitting the wall.

Fai also didn't know how to respond to that. He looked back up with a smile saying, "Well, it's like seahorses. The male one gets pregnant when both seahorses really love each other and then they—"

"No, no, NO! That's not what I was talking about! I meant that I don't remember it happening!"

"Oh. Why didn't you say so then? And as they say, sex is the question. Yes is the answer," he pointed out.

Kurogane gave him a confused look. "Who the hell said THAT? The point is that that baby is going to have problems and it's all because of you," Kurogane pointed at him.

"But what if I'm not going to let the baby live like that?"

"Oh God. You are **NOT** going to abort your own kid, do you hear me?"

Fai chuckled. "Oh, Kuro-tan, I wasn't talking about aborting it." Kurogane lifted one eyebrow up. "I was talking about fixing its problems before birth."

Kurogane knew exactly what he was talking about. Fai was going to use his magic on the baby.

Fai was a magician who came from another world. He used his own magic to travel to different worlds until he came to the one that seemed the safest and which satisfied him the most: our modern day world. He swore not to use his magic anymore for any reason. He just couldn't bear to reminisce on his past. He and Kurogane kept it secret and don't even talk about his magic.

"You're going to use your magic? But you swore you wouldn't use magic again under any circumstances," Kurogane said wide-eyed.

"I know what I said, but this is the only time I'm using it. It would be worth it afterwards," Fai moved his right hand up and down his stomach.

Kurogane looked away and sighed. "Since it's my kid too, I'm going to have to say…do what you have to do. You're…probably right." Kurogane found it hard to admit.

"Really? I'm right? Aww, Kuro-pii, you're so nice."

"Ugh, whatever," he rolled his eyes.

"We find out the baby's gender next week."

"Oh? What would you want it to be?"

"Yay! Kurogane daddy and Fai mommy are back together! Mokona is soo happy!" Mokona rejoiced from the chair in the corner.

"Huh? When did you wake up?"

"Mokona was already awake. Mokona wanted to listen what you had to say," she grinned.

"You little eavesdropper!" he yelled as he started towards her with rage but Mokona hopped out of the way. "Come back here you pork bun!" Kurogane started chasing her around the room. Fai couldn't help but just watch in amazement.

**4 ½ months later**

The baby was almost due. Fai had gotten a lot bigger. He also had more cravings and mood swings. He craved not only sake, but more alcohol and fish. His mood swings got worse. He was depressed because he was so fat and that he couldn't do anything about it. The next minute, he blurted out nonsense things that he didn't mean.

Kurogane sometimes stayed home from work in case Fai needed him. He didn't want Fai to stay home alone all the time, alone with that pork bun whom he couldn't trust.

Kurogane was home that day. He was doing some work downstairs while Fai was upstairs sitting on the bed. He sat up rubbing his hand up and down his now curved belly. Mokona came up right next to him. "Fai mommy, are you happy?"

He looked up. "Of course I'm happy, Mokona. I'm always happy," he said with a grin.

"But you don't seem happy. You're always smiling on the outside. But on the inside, you're suffering horribly and you're sad."

"Eh? What do you mean?"

"You always seem so happy when you're around others. But when you're by yourself like you were a minute ago, you look like you're all alone."

He finally answered after a few seconds. "Yes, that is true."

"Tell me, Fai, what's on your mind? Don't you want to have the baby?"

"Mokona, you're right. At times, I do feel very alone. But the thing is…I'm not sure if I can do it. It's almost time and in a matter of weeks, the baby would be born. I don't think I can do it," he frowned. "And…I haven't been honest to Kurogane these past few months. I haven't told him the whole truth."

"The whole truth?" Fai turned around to find Kurogane leaning against the doorframe in the doorway. "What haven't you told me?" he asked curiously.

"Kuro-sama! I've been meaning to ask you this but, have you sniffed a Canadian today?" Fai asked innocently.

"What? Why?"

"Because I heard they smell like some cologne I've never heard of."

"Don't try to get off topic with me. What haven't you told me? Is there something I should know?" he asked forcefully.

"Kergy's scaring me!" Mokona cowered in fear.

"You shut up!" Kurogane yelled.

"Kyaaa!" Mokona ran out of the room.

Kurogane turned back to Fai finding that he was no longer smiling and walked up to him. "Now, what haven't you told me?" He asked more calmly. "Does it concern that?" He pointed to Fai's stomach.

Fai looked away not wanting to let him know. "Yes," he said in a small voice. Kurogane just glared at him, waiting to hear what else Fai had to say. But Kurogane figured it out. "You used magic on it didn't you?" Fai nodded. "Why?"

Fai answered after a few seconds had passed. "I – don't know," he said looking down.

"You don't know huh? YOU DON'T KNOW?" Kurogane was yelling at this point. "Tell me _everything_."

Fai looked back up at him, looking into his red eyes and sighed, "Kuro-wan, please don't be angry—"

"The hell with that! I am _beyond_ angry! I am _furious_! Tell me what happened and quit calling me those stupid nicknames."

"I – I'm sorry. The truth is…the reason why you and I don't remember doing it was because…I did use magic. I used magic to conjure up a baby in me. And…you're the father."

Kurogane raised one eyebrow up. "How the hell did you do _that_?"

"Oh, well, I don't think you want to know _that_ part. But I am telling you the truth that he is your child."

"Why did you do it?" He asked calmly.

"I don't know. I don't even know what I was thinking. I just wanted it to happen."

"No, you weren't thinking at all. And yet, you let it happen without me having a say in it. Did you even think about my opinion? NO! You were just pushing me away from your life. From that child's life! You wouldn't even let me be involved! You think that you can make the decisions by yourself? Well, you are _wrong_ at that!"

Fai got off the bed and tried to stand up bracing himself by using the beside table. "I just didn't know how to tell you! And you are involved with this baby. You are the father!"  
"Just because I'm the father, doesn't directly mean that I'm involved."

"Maybe it's because you didn't let yourself be involved for the first few months! If you knew about it, why didn't you help out? Why didn't you help me?"

"Because you had to face the consequences of not telling me that you were pregnant, no matter how much it hurt!"

"Well, you're right at that. It did hurt. It hurt me more than it hurt you!"

"You're the one who's been keeping this a secret for months! I told you that I was bound to find out what it is. And you think I wasn't hurt too?"

"Well, it was all your doing anyway. And by the way, I _can_ make my own decisions."

"You're right. You can make your own decisions. But you can't make all of them alone not expecting anyone's input."

Fai didn't know how to respond to that so he stayed silent.

"Dammit, Fai, if you told me sooner, it wouldn't have to be like this! And just so we're clear, I did everything I could to help you from the start. But you were too stupid to figure that out. I stayed home to take care of you; I got you a talking pork bun for you to be happy, for crying out loud! It was all you who wasn't letting me be involved in your life!"

Fai, dumbfounded, walked out of the room.

"Where do you think you're going? We're not done discussing this!" Kurogane followed him into the kitchen. Fai ignored him and started looking in a drawer. "Fai! What the hell are you doing?" Fai pulled out a butcher's knife.

"I'm sorry, Kuro-tan, but we have to end this. It's causing us way too much trouble and I can't do this anymore," he said expressionless holding it up to his curved belly. "I swore that I would never use magic again, and this is me keeping that promise."

"So you're just going to kill it yourself? That's bullshit. I won't let you."

"I want to! It's all my fault and I want to get rid of it myself."

"There you go deciding on that baby's life again! I don't get a say in it?"

"Kurogane—"

"I won't let you do it. If you really want to, I'll kill you myself. Until then, it lives. Got that?"

Fai stared at him in surprise. "I'm sorry, Kuro—"

Before he could continue, Kurogane slapped his hand hard to make him drop the knife onto the floor. Kurogane picked it up.

"Ow! Kuro-tan, that hurt!" he cried.

"Do you realize what you could've done to yourself? To _that_? Get your freaking priorities straight! Do you know what could've happened if I weren't here? And quit calling me those stupid nicknames! It makes me sick!"

Fai was now furious. "How would you know? You were barely home when I needed you most the first few months! You didn't bother to help me even though you knew what was going on! Well you know what? Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence."

He looked Kurogane directly in his eyes. Both of their eyes were full of rage and fury. After a few seconds that seemed like almost an eternity, Kurogane looked away.

"Fine. If you really mean it, then that can be arranged," he said firmly as he turned and walked away. "Don't forget, I meant what I said too."

Fai, realizing what just happened, calmed down and went after Kurogane. "Kurogane! I'm sorry," Fai said meeting his eyes.

Kurogane opened the door. "Whatever," he said as he walked out the door and shutting it behind him. Fai stood there in place and watched as the man he loved, walked out.

Mokona popped out from under a pillow and hopped to the door. "Kergy, nooo! Mokona needs you! And Fai too!" She then broke down in tears.

Fai took her in his arms. "I'm sorry, Mokona. This is all my fault," he said slowly.

"What are you going to do now?"

It's been 5 days and Kurogane hasn't yet come back. Fai and Mokona have been miserable since he left. Either something bad had happened to him, or he decided that he wasn't coming back home for good. Or both.

That afternoon, Fai was in the kitchen about to start dinner when an excruciating pain came from his stomach. He bent over holding his belly and started groaning in pain. Mokona hopped on the counter.

"Fai mommy! What's wrong?" She started panicking.

Fai gasped in pain, "Mokona, I think it's time. I have to go to the hospital _now_. And Kurogane's not here! Call an ambulance."

"Right."

**At the hospital:**

Fai was sitting upright on the hospital bed. Mokona came out from the pocket of his coat. "Fai!"

"Mokona! Have you tried to call Kurogane?"

"Waahh….he won't pick up," she frowned.

He sighed. "Well, this is it I guess. I miss him terribly. He probably doesn't care about me anymore," he looked down.

"It's okay, Fai. I'll be right by your side," Mokona said as Fai took her little hand/paw.

"Thank you, Mokona," he grinned for the first time since Kurogane left him.

Suddenly, an excruciating pain came from Fai's stomach. He screamed out in pain. "Now, this is it," he gasped, "Mokona, call the doctor! It's time!"

**Later on:**

Fai was now holding his son in his arms. He looked exactly like Kurogane with Fai's blue eyes and chestnut hair. Since he was born to a magician, that made the baby a magician too. "He's…He's beautiful," he said, "Too bad his father wasn't here to see him."

Mokona hopped on right next to Fai admiring the newborn. "Aww, Mokona thinks the baby is cute and squishy." She gently touched its arm. "Fai, Mokona doesn't want you to give it up. Mokona thinks you should keep it."

He reached over and patted Mokona's head. "Mokona, I was never going to give it up. At least, not until he gets to see his son. But, I don't think I want to give it up either," he smiled and looked down at his baby boy.

The doctor came in after that. "Excuse me, Fai?"

"Yes, that's me."

"I've been meaning to ask you this but, what exactly is that thing? The white thing. It looks like some genetic mutation like, a bunny and a pork bun mixed together," he said curiously as he poked Mokona's belly.

"Hehe, that tickles! And Mokona is Mokona! Not a bunny, or a pork bun," with that, she went back into Fai's coat pocket.

"Eyahh! His eyes got wide with surprise. He cleared his throat to get back on topic. "Anyway, that's not why I came to you. Do you know anyone who goes by the name of Kurogane?"

Fai smiled wider at the sound of his name. "Why, yes I do. He's the father of this little baby. But I haven't seen him since a few days ago."  
"Well, I have terrible news. I'm sorry to say…the reason he hasn't been around lately is because…he's dead," he said firmly, looking into Fai's beautiful blue eyes.

"Wha – what? That's impossible. You're lying." His smile started to fade.

"I'm afraid I'm not. He was found a couple days ago in the forest behind your house by your neighbor. He was pronounced dead for approximately five days. He apparently stabbed himself through the heart. I'm sorry," he turned and left.

Fai gaped as the doctor left the room. Mokona came back out. "Mokona," he said quietly, his eyes towards the door, "He's gone. He's not coming back. He'll never get to see his son."

Mokona gasped. "Daddy? He's _gone_?"

"He's dead," he said firmly, looking at his son.

Mokona burst into tears.

"I don't understand. Why would he do this to himself? He would never—"Fai stopped himself from saying anything else and realized what happened. Kurogane used the knife that he took away from Fai to stab himself. He told him that he wanted his absence, so he got it. "It was all my fault. Everything was my fault. He was right the whole time. I've been pushing him away, and I didn't even know it. I didn't even know he was right by my side the whole time. Kurogane, I'm so sorry," his voice cracked. He buried his face in his one hand that wasn't holding the baby and broke down in tears. The baby cooed and made other baby noises.

Mokona stopped crying. "Bu—but Fai, you haven't given him a name yet."

Fai looked up. "You're right. I think I'll name him…Kurogane. Kurogane Syaoran. But he'll just go by Syaoran. And I'm not giving him up. Not after what I did."

"I like it. _Syaoran_."

"Me too, Mokona, Me too."

**A week later:**

It was a week later after Fai and Syaoran went home from the hospital. It was Kurogane's funeral. It was held at the nearby cemetery close to where they lived which was outside. The funeral wasn't very big. Only a few of their close friends could come. Kurogane was laying in the coffin at the place in front of the chairs as people came and visited him.

Fai, holding his son in his arms, walked up the aisle over to the coffin. He looked at the pale face of the man he once knew. He was so still, so pale, so peaceful. Fai wanted to believe that Kurogane wasn't actually dead and that he would come up from behind telling him that it was all a joke. But he knew that it wouldn't happen.

Fai reached out and put his hand on Kurogane's cold cheek. "Kurogane," he began, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry for everything. This is all my fault that you're here. And I'm so sorry for that." He took his hand off his cheek. "You didn't even see your own son, Kurogane Syaoran. He loves you, and wonders who you are. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me." Fai gave one last look and walked away.

Mokona hopped onto the coffin and looked at Kurogane. "Mokona loves you, Kergy daddy and I miss you so…" her voice trailed off as she began sobbing. She followed Fai to his seat.

The funeral to Fai seemed endless. He was dying on the inside. He knew he couldn't look at Kurogane after this. He knew he couldn't talk to him anymore. He knew he could never call him another silly, yet loving nickname again. He could never find anybody like him for the rest of his long life.

**5 years later:**

Five years have passed since Kurogane's death. Fai and Mokona's lives have never been the same. Whenever they were in front of Syaoran, they acted as if nothing happened and that they were all very happy, when they were just trying to hide the pain. Syaoran never knew who his father was.

One day, after Fai had picked up Syaoran from daycare, Syaoran asked him a random question that came out of the blue.

"Fai mommy?" he asked.

"Yes Syaoran?"

"Where's daddy?"

Fai looked at his little boy. Mokona hopped right next to him.

Fai smiled. "Well, why do you say that?"

"Because everyone was talking about their daddies today. And I don't even know mine. What happened to him?" he asked innocently looking at him with his beautiful blue eyes.

Fai stayed silent for a few seconds then finally answered, "He died naturally. Naturally, with a knife through the heart."


End file.
